I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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