Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
