Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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