Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize