Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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