I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
