i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
