We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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