Screwed.edu
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
operation have a gay friend backfired
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
