i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Drake has all the answers
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
