I'm jealous of your bromance
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize