I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
