foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Randomize
