you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
