Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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