his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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