yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
