I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
