...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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