Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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