He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize