Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
