if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize