Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
