Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just want to make out with him forever
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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