wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just forgot I was standing up.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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