that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
