weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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