Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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