if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
