I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
