ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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