he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
