If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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