You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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