Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

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(303): View more from Colorado

All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins

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(512): View more from Texas

Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.

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