would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
