Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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