We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize