Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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