Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
