so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
