Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
