My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
