Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
