just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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