yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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