she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
