The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i now understand why vodka
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