Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
