real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
