dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
