is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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