and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize