My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
