I just made out with a guy for $7.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
