Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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