Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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