matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She told me I should be a condom model.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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