dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
