No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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