He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
