How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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