Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
