This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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